The reason you are not able to step into your true authenticity as a female leader.

The complex world we live in requires leadership and people in decision-making roles of any kind to explore true authenticity. 

As high-achieving women in influential roles, we have been conditioned to look and behave a certain way. A lot of this comes from wanting to belong and be part of a tribe.

Wanting to belong and be part of a tribe are our evolutionary needs. This goes beyond the logical mind and is built into our human system. From a survival point of view, we feel safe when we know that we have others around us to fall back on. That safety allows us to play, connect and bond with others. 

However, the issues come when belonging and external safety stop us from stepping into our unique essence so we can lead from our unique abilities.

Embodied leadership allows us to feel safe in our own skin and belong to ourselves, and then belong to a bigger purpose, company or group while being different enough to learn to lead.

What does authenticity mean?

Being genuine and honest. 

‘Being authentic’ can sometimes feel like another thing to do. Similar to terms like ‘growth mindset’ or ‘having grit’ - these aims can lead us to the path of self-harassment, where we tell ourselves we’re not good enough. 

However, if we can take away the pressure of another tagline and look at what true authenticity is, it can make us become more powerful leaders, help us to connect with others, and contribute to company growth in a progressive way that supports people while also meeting financial goals.

The workable definition of authenticity that has worked for me and my clients is: ‘It’s not always about having clarity or being assertive but it's about being true to yourself at any moment and learning to back yourself no matter how you come across.’

Only you will know how honest or genuine you are, others won’t be able to tell. So, authenticity is about being true to yourself or being honest with yourself before others can feel it. 

Why is this important for leaders and decision-makers to explore?

As leaders, or people responsible for others, we need to question our level of authenticity due to power dynamics and the influence we can have on others. The human element that has been missing in leadership until now will have to change in the new paradigm of AI and other complex situations that we have been facing for some time.

If a leader is not aware of what is driving them and how authentic they are, then they will make decisions that will have adverse impact on others. They might think that they want the best for their team or company, but actually what is driving their actions is something else that even they are not aware of. 

Being authentic doesn’t mean being self-less. It just means you are aware of what your intentions are, so you can make decisions based on clarity and truth.

How do we start becoming more authentic?

Internal safety and authenticity go hand in hand.

Internal safety is a feeling and thinking state where you feel a sense of safety in your body and also know in your mind that you are safe. It is beyond words and can only be experienced.

Most of us need to cultivate this safety, otherwise we keep walking through life like a body-less person living in the world of concepts and feeling stuck in similar situations, relationships, and careers, and making the same decisions.

Internal safety is not a mental concept.

Positive self-talk might work temporarily or in the moment when you are conscious of your lack of safety. But that is very short-lasting as soon after all your actions, feelings and thoughts will go back to that lack of inner safety.

Internal safety starts to cultivate when we are aware of our body, how to feel our emotions, how our nervous system responds, and have the ability to follow our instincts. 

Internal safety allows for true expression to come through, and allows us the wisdom to stand up for what's not true in work and in life.

Authenticity as a leader depends upon your level of internal safety. The level of authenticity we experience is dependent upon the depth to which we know ourselves and feel safe to reveal our true selves to another. And this continues to deepen as we start to create internal safety through our body-mind-nervous system balance.

The rest of the time, you might think your expression is coming from authenticity but what is actually happening is that - you are unconsciously manipulating your expression for whoever you are speaking to, by picking up environmental cues or past experiences of life. In such moments, you will be unable to tap into your truth or authentic feelings in that moment or the truth of the situation.

Most importantly, internal safety also allows for you to express yourself in such a way that your words land with compassion, while also not wavering from what needs to be said and done as a leader. This allows for a deep regard for others’ well-being despite the harshness of the message. 

This means you can be assertive and kind at the same time. You can create harmony in your company and get the best out of others.

Inner safety and authenticity help us to stop the current shame / blame culture in corporations and the business world.

 If you want to be a powerful female leader who is not just emulating the way your male colleagues have been leading, then it is important to first learn to relate authentically with yourself and develop a sense of internal safety that allows you to hear and see your own truth, so you can step into your own unique voice.

Whole-self leadership for women allows you to be powerful, instinctive and nourished while having a positive impact through the abilities that only women have. And that's what the corporate and business world needs.

If you would like to explore this for yourself, please get in touch.

Also, I would love to hear your thoughts on this.