Beyond the burden of New Year resolutions.

As the new year rolls in, many of us dive into the tradition of setting ambitious goals, from finishing that book to losing weight, in a bid to transform our lives for the better.

This practice of drafting resolutions is almost a cultural rite, promising a fresh start and a path to self-improvement. However, this journey often leads to a familiar conundrum by February. Our motivation dwindles, and our resolutions seem more like burdens than beacons of hope.

The problem with lofty goals.

In our quest for personal and professional growth, we're conditioned to aim high. I too have been a list maker, relishing in the act of setting goals. Yet, as I've delved deeper into embodied leadership, connecting with my body, emotions, and nervous system, I've come to realise the harshness of these self-imposed targets. Far from nurturing self-compassion, they often breed self-criticism and self-condemnation, adding stress to our already hectic lives.

Even goals cloaked in the guise of self-care can lead to more stress and feeling even worse than before we started.

The self-improvement illusion.

In January, many of us update our personal and professional to-do lists, later using these accomplishments—or lack thereof—to judge our worth. This self-evaluation, though subconscious, is an activity our incredibly intelligent body-mind-heart system engages in.

Despite our intentions for setting these goals being rooted in the desire to feel good and promote wellbeing, they often end up serving as another layer of burden on our sense of self.

Choosing nourishment and empowerment.

In recent years, my work with clients through whole-self leadership has revealed an alternative path. One that fosters change without the push pattern, eradicates self-blame, and does not add to the shame we often carry.

This journey involves diving deep into our emotions, body systems, nervous system, and self-awareness, allowing for the creation of new relationships, better health, the achievement of leadership roles, and the activation of natural joy, all without the traditional push towards so-called ‘goals’.

Getting to know yourself.

If you’re reading this and thinking you want to let go of traditional new year’s resolutions and goal setting, I encourage you to explore what’s really happening within.

Ask yourself these questions:

•    Why do I find it hard to set boundaries or say no?
•    What prevents me from committing to my health and wellbeing?
•    How does adding to my never-ending list make me feel?
•    What does my system truly need this year for nourishment?

These reflections aim to foster self-love rather than induce shame, helping you to uncover the real reasons behind your desires. By understanding yourself better, you can still achieve your goals but in a way that encompasses all parts of your being, ensuring a journey filled with self-love and compassion.

Loving yourself.

Let this year be different. Allow it to be the year you prioritise understanding and discovering your inner workings and embodied needs.

The whole-self leadership approach doesn't just lead to achieving what you really want in life, it also transforms the journey itself, making it more inclusive and kind to every part of you.

I invite you to embrace this path, as you reach your aspirations with a heart full of self-compassion and understanding. I promise you, it is possible.